I recently learned that my good friend Bill’s little sister is expecting quadruplets. That’s FOUR babies at once – and with no fertility assistance whatsoever. Apparently Bill’s sister is just naturally outrageously fertile. Anyway, as Jack and I were driving to visit his parents the other day, I mentioned this news.
“Quadruplets….that’s FOUR, right?”
“Yep,” I confirmed.
“Wow, that’s a lot….I mean, what if they didn’t want a family that big?”
“Um…too bad, I guess? I mean, it’s not like they used fertility treatments or anything. Maybe they were just meant to have a big family?”
Jack really hadn’t even been listening. He just sort of picked up where he left off – “…like, do they have to have them all? Or could they maybe have them all and then pick the 2 they wanted and give the others away?”
“WHAT? Give away two of your babies?? And keep two?? How would you decide which ones to keep??”
"I’d give away the girls, and keep the boys. That's what I'd do."
Of course at this point I was livid, because whenever Jack and I discuss how scary it will be to someday raise children, he always says he hopes he only has boys, because raising daughters would be too difficult. Like most men, you see, Jack points to the fact that he “knows what teenage boys think about all the time” - and therefore wouldn’t want his daughters around teenage boys. Best to just GIVE THEM AWAY, I guess?
As soon as we got to Jack’s parents’ house, I had to tell them this story – that Jack planned to give away the girls if he ever had quadruplets. He got a good talking-to about that.
I think my work here is done.
Oh, and the illustration above? That’s me crying because Jack is FORCING me to give away my daughters, whilst happily clutching his precious sons. RUDE!
“Quadruplets….that’s FOUR, right?”
“Yep,” I confirmed.
“Wow, that’s a lot….I mean, what if they didn’t want a family that big?”
“Um…too bad, I guess? I mean, it’s not like they used fertility treatments or anything. Maybe they were just meant to have a big family?”
Jack really hadn’t even been listening. He just sort of picked up where he left off – “…like, do they have to have them all? Or could they maybe have them all and then pick the 2 they wanted and give the others away?”
“WHAT? Give away two of your babies?? And keep two?? How would you decide which ones to keep??”
"I’d give away the girls, and keep the boys. That's what I'd do."
Of course at this point I was livid, because whenever Jack and I discuss how scary it will be to someday raise children, he always says he hopes he only has boys, because raising daughters would be too difficult. Like most men, you see, Jack points to the fact that he “knows what teenage boys think about all the time” - and therefore wouldn’t want his daughters around teenage boys. Best to just GIVE THEM AWAY, I guess?
As soon as we got to Jack’s parents’ house, I had to tell them this story – that Jack planned to give away the girls if he ever had quadruplets. He got a good talking-to about that.
I think my work here is done.
Oh, and the illustration above? That’s me crying because Jack is FORCING me to give away my daughters, whilst happily clutching his precious sons. RUDE!
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7 comments:
Hahaha, hilarious! I'd give away the boys. I can't be finding superhero toys all over my living room. Plus I like to think it's balance for Jack's anti-girlchild thing.
Of course I'm never having kids so hey. I can say it. :)
That picture had me going for a moment - I thought it was YOU having the quads!
Don't worry about Jack - I didn't want to have ANY kids at first, but now know that they are the best thing that can ever happen to you.
That pic kinda threw me off...until I read the post..I thought you were crying cause you had that many kids with jack. :)
Tell him to move to China several decades ago if he wants that attitude. I can't believe he only wants boys! Ick!
Shame on Jack!
Obviously, his sperm is ONLY going to produce girl children, just to punish him for being so cruel.
xoxo
This is hilarious! Nick always says that he would prefer boy(s), too, which makes me nervous! Maybe he also has an evil plan to give away any girl(s) we may have...
I'll have to look into this.
Well I guess you just don't care about us anymore, Jillack! It's been almost a month since the last post, and I'm feeling very neglected. HOW DARE YOU HAVE A LIFE! Hurry back!
-ForeverAnon
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