Jack Quizzes Jill: Part I

(Q) If Jack were a fruit or vegetable, what would he be and why?

Jill's Answer: Hm. Definitely not peas, since you really hate peas, and I don't think you'd want to hate yourself. I actually don't even think you have the capacity to dislike yourself in any way, so peas are definitely out. And while you LOVE asparagus, I'm guessing you don't want to make people's pee smell funny...........I know! You'd be a potato, because I love potatoes no matter how they look or what you mix them with, and my love would probably be your top concern if you were told you had to transform into some kind of edible object. Yep, you'd be a potato!

Jack's Response: A potato?!?! No way. Too boring. If I was a fruit or veggie, I'd be a Bhut jolokia pepper. Because if I were a veggie, I would want to hang out in the produce department and try to flirt with the radishes (i.e., I wouldn't want to be eaten). And nobody wants to eat the hottest pepper in the world, duh!

(Q) If Jack was forced to become roommates with a current or former reality TV star, who would he pick and why?

Jill's Answer: I don't think Jack watches reality TV. So I guess I don't know who he'd live with but I'm sure he'd have to be forced into it, and that person would have to adjust to Jack's many, many house rules very quickly or his/her life wouldn't be very pleasant.

Jack's Response: Was Mini Me on a Reality TV show? If so, I'd pick him as my roomie. I like having my own space, and I imagine I'd be able to stuff Mini Me into one of my kitchen cupboards and have the rest of the house to myself. Also, I have a hunch that Mini Me would be really good at dusting all of the hard-to-reach spots.

(Q) What’s one thing about Jill that Jack would change if he could?

Jill's Answer: If Jack could change one thing about me it would probably be my fondness for animals---as in, I think he'd like me to be kinder to animals, and love them more, because it is one area in which I am really lacking, in his opinion.

Jack's Response: It's hard to improve upon perfection. Although I guess Jill could be a little bit taller. And smarter. And better at taking jokes (like right now). Oh, and I guess I also wish she was a billionaire. In all seriousness, I think there are only two things I'd change about Jill: (1) I wish she wouldn't text while driving, and (2) I wish she changed her bed sheets at least twice per year.