Friday, May 15, 2009

Jack Thinks Boys Can Kick Farther than Girls

It’s me, Jack. For years people have debated which gender is more attractive. Men typically cite the fact that many male animals are more attractive than their female counterparts (e.g., ducks, peacocks, lions). Women typically cite Angelina Jolie.

Well…for once and for all, let me put this issue to rest: women are more attractive than men. How do I know this, you may be wondering? It’s simple; there are way more men out-kicking their coverage than there are women out-kicking their coverage. Come to think of it, I don’t know if I’ve ever met a woman who’s out-kicking her coverage. Seriously, has anybody seen a couple where the guy is actually more attractive than the girl? (Present company excluded, of course.)

Recently I’ve been blown away by the number of aesthetically-asymmetrical couples I’ve seen walking around. When Jill and I were at the Honolulu Airport, I saw a 5’5” chubby guy who looked like Harry Caray holding hands and acting all romantic with a girl who could have been a stunt double for Halle Berry. This capped off our week in Hawaii, where I spotted at least 20 couples that consisted of a guy who was a 4 or lower with a girl who was an 8 or better.

If you don’t believe me, take a look at these couples. Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams. Seal and Heidi Klum. Christina Aguilera and this dude. And maybe most shockingly of all: Cate Blanchett and her husband!

When I brought this issue up to Jill, she came up with some nonsensical reply like, “men are more attracted to physical appearance, while women are more attracted to personality, among other non-superficial things.” (I don’t remember exactly what she said, as I wasn’t really listening; I was too busy staring at her beauty.) Honestly, I don’t buy the concept that women are less superficial than men are. At all. I think it just comes down to this: women are generally more attractive than men. Sorry, dudes, but it’s true. (There’s just no other explanation for all of the out-kicking of coverage that’s happening nowadays.)

If you’re still not convinced, post a comment within the next 15 seconds that references a couple where the Mr. is better looking than the Mrs. (And, no, you can’t use Jill and me as your example*.)

So, now it's time for you to vote!

Which gender out-kicks their coverage more often (looks-wise)?
It's about equal
Free polls from

*Of course I’m joking. I’m so far outkicking my coverage with Jill that I should probably change my e-mail address to CateBlanchett’


Amanda said...

The Heidi Klum/Seal example doesn't work. Seal is really attractive despite the facial scaring.

Jack and Jill said...

Do you think so? Facial scarring aside, I still think he's no where near as hot as Heidi Klum!

KindredSmile said...

The pic attached to this post cracked me up so much that I forgot what I was going to write. Well played, Jack. Well played.

Amanda said...

Yeah there is something really sexy about him. I can't put my finger on it. There is something about Seal I find really attractive.

Then again I may not be the best judge as I find Jim Parsons and Alan Rickman incredibly sexy.

Chief Rock Chef said...

This song really sums this up:

BTW I think most would be out-kicking with Jill!

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Jack's right. I actually cried, 'SWEET JESUS!' upon seeing that picture of Cate Blanchett and her husband.

Also, Seal sang that 'Kiss from a Rose' song, which seems to make women all swoony. Swoon-worthy singing outweighs facial scarring in much the same way that rock beats scissors.

Anonymous said...

I can think of a few couples where the Mr. IS/WAS better looking than the Mrs. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Of course he got wise, but still - it happened.

Denzel and his wife, whatever her name is -

And don't forget Chris Daughtry and his Miss Piggy!


Anonymous said...

Mel Gibson and his pending ex. And we all know damn well that the ugly guys get the hot girls because of MONEY. Women may lower their standards out of desperation OR the hope that a less attractive man will have a more desirable personality. Lastly, an attractive man will oftentimes go for a lesser attractive woman because he simply doesn't want the competition.

Anonymous said...

Hugh Jackman and his wife

rs27 said...

Roger Federer

Lil' Woman said...

Another good example of a guy out of his league...Marc Anthony, seriously J.LO?!?

sid said...

Gosh this got me laughing soooo loud. And i'm definitely going to google cate blanchett's husband just to see what you guys are talking about.