It’s me, Jack. For years people have debated which gender is more attractive. Men typically cite the fact that many male animals are more attractive than their female counterparts (e.g., ducks, peacocks, lions). Women typically cite Angelina Jolie.
Well…for once and for all, let me put this issue to rest: women are more attractive than men. How do I know this, you may be wondering? It’s simple; there are way more men out-kicking their coverage than there are women out-kicking their coverage. Come to think of it, I don’t know if I’ve ever met a woman who’s out-kicking her coverage. Seriously, has anybody seen a couple where the guy is actually more attractive than the girl? (Present company excluded, of course.)
Recently I’ve been blown away by the number of aesthetically-asymmetrical couples I’ve seen walking around. When Jill and I were at the Honolulu Airport, I saw a 5’5” chubby guy who looked like Harry Caray holding hands and acting all romantic with a girl who could have been a stunt double for Halle Berry. This capped off our week in Hawaii, where I spotted at least 20 couples that consisted of a guy who was a 4 or lower with a girl who was an 8 or better.
If you don’t believe me, take a look at these couples. Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams. Seal and Heidi Klum. Christina Aguilera and this dude. And maybe most shockingly of all: Cate Blanchett and her husband!
When I brought this issue up to Jill, she came up with some nonsensical reply like, “men are more attracted to physical appearance, while women are more attracted to personality, among other non-superficial things.” (I don’t remember exactly what she said, as I wasn’t really listening; I was too busy staring at her beauty.) Honestly, I don’t buy the concept that women are less superficial than men are. At all. I think it just comes down to this: women are generally more attractive than men. Sorry, dudes, but it’s true. (There’s just no other explanation for all of the out-kicking of coverage that’s happening nowadays.)
If you’re still not convinced, post a comment within the next 15 seconds that references a couple where the Mr. is better looking than the Mrs. (And, no, you can’t use Jill and me as your example*.)
So, now it's time for you to vote!
*Of course I’m joking. I’m so far outkicking my coverage with Jill that I should probably change my e-mail address to CateBlanchett’sHusband@gmail.com.