Thursday, August 20, 2009

No More Sandalwood for Me; I Want the Good Stuff

We're all a bit weird. I, for example, have an unnatural obsession with sneakers and clean bedding. Jill, on the other hand, loves to play Sims and sing out loud in a voice that sounds like Mary Murphy impersonating Pavarotti. But I think we can all agree that there's a big difference between being "normal weird" and "WEIRD weird."

On Saturday I was once again reminded just how "WEIRD weird" some people really are. Jill and I were shopping at Electric Fetus, which is a really great music store that sells everything from vinyl records to concert tickets. The Fetus also sells incense, which I must admit I'm not too familiar with. I have friends who used to burn incense while they were smoking to mask the odor. I've also had a few friends who burned incense because they really liked the smell, similar to how I might burn, say, a candle or a plastic milk jug. But apparently incense also has another application which I was unaware of- which brings us back to the WEIRD weird part.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a normal looking guy talking to a normal looking girl. (By "normal" I mean neither of them were dressed like a wizard.) They were standing near the incense section. As soon as I got within earshot, here's what I heard:

Normal Looking Guy: "...and that's why I rarely use sandalwood anymore in my spells. I just haven't gotten the results I've been looking for."
Normal Looking Girl: "Is that right?"
Normal Looking Guy: "Yeah, and I'm not sure why. I used to use it in a lot of my spells. Maybe the commercial stuff is not as pure as it used to be? Whatever the reason, it's just not as effective as some of my other ingredients. So unless it's a fairly basic spell, I don't recommend sandalwood. It's like the new rosemary."

Naturally I immediately went and found Jill so that she, too, could take in her daily dose of insanity. When we returned, I was pleased to find the wizard couple still deep in discussion. Jill eavesdropped for about 30 seconds, then - based on what she heard - became concerned that she herself could soon be on the receiving end of some type of spell if she was perceived as being disrespectful. So we left.

As we were leaving, I turned to Jill and said what I'm sure she also was feeling: "Wow, we're so not WEIRD weird."


Lil' Woman said...

I knew that why my damn voodoo dolls weren't working, damn sandalwood! :) lol

My Lips Aren't Seeled said...

Well, I am just relevied to to hear that they are using them for something other than stinking up the darn place! I would have prob ran if I were u guys, u never want to give one of those "weirdos" the wrong kind of look! They make cause you to stub a toe!

Amanda said...

My entire life is trying to avoid the weird. If I had seen this guy I probably would have dated him for 6 months. :-/

Megan said...

I'm so glad you guys are back!!!

Devyl said...

1) YAY! I opened my reader to read this month's posts and I had MORE THAN ONE post from you two. WOOT!

2) I am very, extremely, horrifically disappointed that you did NOT ask Mr. Wizard and Ms. Witch WHAT should be used in spells in place of sandalwood. How do you expect us devylicious people to get our voodoo on? I demand you go back to the Electric Fetus (srsly ... Fetus??) and find the dude and dudette in question, and politely ask how to rectify our spell issues.