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Sunday, August 16, 2009

Summer Fun: The Porn Squad and Getting Banged

Jack and I had a really fun day yesterday. Actually, this whole summer has been pretty awesome, hence the sad lack of posts on this blog.

Anyway, yesterday after an hour or so at the pool, we went to run some errands. On the way back, we drove past a group of high-school age girls holding a sign that said "CAR WASH". There was another sign that said "Pom Squad". As we passed, Jack said "I think I need a car wash from the Porn Squad!"

"PORN SQUAD? Really? You think that's what that sign said? PORN squad?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what it said. Porn Squad."

"Honey, it's the POM SQUAD - like cheerleaders or whatever."

"No, it was definitely the Porn Squad, and I think they should wash my car."

He insisted that it made much more sense that a group of teenage girls would be on a Porn Squad instead of a Pom Squad. Because that's totally logical. And not at all illegal.

Later that afternoon, we went to play some tennis. Now, one thing to know here is that Jack played tennis all through high school, whereas I took one week of lessons back when I was 16. I know the basics of the game, and can hit the ball, but not very hard and not very accurately. I still like to play, though, because it's fun to hit balls, and it's a good workout (that's what she said). While we played, Jack was refreshing me on the rules, giving me some pointers on my backhand, and so on an so forth. We were on our last game of the match (he had already won 5 games, I had won one and it was clear he'd be winning the 6th shortly), he tells me "now honey, when you get shut out on the final game of a match, you've been 'banged' - that's what they call it when that happens."

"Really? That's weird."

Shortly thereafter, he won the last point and I loudly announced "I just got banged!" to try out my new tennis lingo.

I thought it sounded funny, but who am I to argue with a long time tennis player, right?

Fast forward to last night. We're about to go to sleep and Jack says, quite ominously, "Honey, I need to come clean about something, because if I die in my sleep or something I just can't have this on my conscience."

"Um....okay, what?"

In my head I'm thinking he's going to say something like 'I slept with your best friend!' or 'I killed a puppy yesterday just for fun!' because my mind goes to places like that when someone starts a statement the way Jack did.

He continued: "In tennis, there's no such thing as 'getting banged' - it's not a tennis term at all. So if someday you're playing with someone else, I just don't want to be responsible for you saying 'YOU BANGED ME!' Okay?"

After over a year, he is finally figuring out just how incredibly gullible I am. It's about time. I, however, still apparently have not figured out that Jack is always lying to me. Hmph.

9 comments:

supertoyz said...

hehehe...oh I love little jokes between couple like this. Glad you shared it. Not sure I would have.

(p.s, I hate Twitter, makes me write everything in short, sharp sentences)

Lil' Woman said...

lol...you two are too funny! :)

Amanda said...

I say you keep it up to embarrass him. Everytime you get shut out on the final game of a match scream "I GOT BANGED" as loud as possible and keep insisting LOUDLY that you "GOT BANGED REALLY WELL!!"

Embarrassment will teach him a lesson

Danielle said...

I agree with Amanda!

I never play tennis but if I do, I'll be sure to let everyone know "I got banged" when I get shut out.

Devyl Gyrl said...

You absolutely crack me up. I am glad he came clean ... but I almost wish he hadn't ... and that there had been a doubles match sometime in the near future. ;)

I agree - you should keep it up, just for fun!

Rock Chef said...

Maybe at random intervals you should challenge stuff he says, no matter now true it seems to be. That would teach him!

Jack and Jill said...

SUPERTOYZ - You gotta share when you get banged!

LIL WOMAN - Thanks!

AMANDA - I don't know that Jack ever FEELS embarrassment...hm.

DANIELLE - Awesome!

DEVYL GIRL - Maybe a doubles match with my parents or something. :)

ROCK CHEF - He does this to me, actually, and it has really decreased my BSing, unfortunately. So that idea might work!

amindinmotown said...

You two are too adorable and silly for words, ha. At least he didn't want you to make a fool of yourself - in someone else's presence - right?

Jill said...

That's hilarious! He should have kept the joke going a bit longer though for laughts :D JK