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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Moment I Knew

In all my past relationships, I’d at some point have moments where suddenly I’d think “wow, this guy is a real d-bag.” Those moments were usually precipitated by certain events…like him saying something really insensitive, or, you know, cheating. Things like that. I’ve heard, though, that when you are very much in love, you will instead have a moment where you stop and think to yourself “wow, I think I could actually spend the rest of my life with this person.” Friends of mine have stories about these moments:

  • “It was when he told me he couldn’t imagine his life without me. I just knew we were perfect together!”

  • “It was when he met my INSANE family, and he actually managed to charm them.”

  • “It was when my grandpa died, and he was the most supportive person ever – I knew then that I could spend the rest of my life with him.”

Sweet, right?

Well, guys, I think I had my “moment” last week with Jack. Here’s the story:

I had the week off work, so of course I spent my time wisely—largely by sleeping half the day away. Poor Jack had to work, but had stayed the night at my house. He was quiet as a mouse getting ready so as not to wake me….until he needed 2 things:

First, he walked into my room and loudly said “Jill, are you OUT OF PEANUT BUTTER?” The rage was evident in his voice – a house without peanut butter is to Jack what a house without Spot is to me. Unacceptable. But, yes, I was out of peanut butter.

Twenty minutes later he returned to my room to share this: “So…um, your toilet is kind of clogged. I’ve spent about half an hour trying to fix it with no success. I can’t take it anymore, so I threw some Drano in there and I was hoping you could try to un-clog it when you get up.”

Oh, really? Well that sounds exactly like what I had in mind for my day off!

“Wait – you’re telling me that you clogged the toilet and now you’re LEAVING IT?” (This seems like a slightly harsh retaliation for running out of peanut butter, doesn’t it?)

“Well, yeah. I mean, I think it’s actually a problem with your toilet. There was nothing notable about what I was trying to flush, if you know what I mean. And I have to go to work.”

“Mmm-hmm, it’s obviously my toilet’s fault. OK. Well, have a good day at work. I’m going back to sleep.”

I went back to sleep, and a couple hours later got up, having forgotten all about our earlier conversation. Then I walked into my bathroom. This was the moment I knew that Jack and I probably have a future together. If you can walk into the bathroom where your partner has left a plunger sticking out of a toilet that HE clogged and not run away screaming, you probably have to admit that maybe you found someone special.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I knew.

Jack's Take:

After the "incident" Jill told me the following: "When you go #2, you should always flush before you begin to wipe. My toilet sometimes struggles when you ask it to flush your business and toilet paper."

Umm...so apparently whenever Jill poops, there's a half-time? Does an announcer's voice come over a loudspeaker and announce: "Ladies and gentlemen, there will now be a 5 minute intermission."

Jill's toilet needs to be repaired. Period. Therefore, I don't feel too bad about leaving her toilet clogged with a plunger sticking out of it. It wasn't me, it was the toilet.

8 comments:

Lil' Woman said...

When your comfortable enough to deal with your lovers farts and shits, it might be the moment! :)

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

I was kind of expecting there to be an engagement ring shoved onto the end of the plunger or something equally syrup-y and romantic and slightly disturbing, but no, just a clogged toilet.

Hollywood Sucker said...

I think toilet challenges build strength in relationships. Shortly after we returned from our honeymoon, our building installed these water-saving toilets with the tiniest, um, flush hole EVER. Ah, the stories we have to share. They are the stuff of lasting love.

Rock Chef said...

That's a great one for the grandchildren!

You know you have got a good relationship when you can deal with each other's poop! :-)

BTW, I knew you were great together LONG AGO!

My "moment" was much less traumatic. We had been together for a couple of weeks and were talking when Mrs RC suddenly said "When we have been married for a few years..." And it just seemed like a perfectly reasonable statement!

amindinmotown said...

I think just being able to talk about shit signifies a serious, possibly lifelong relationship.

Jill said...

haha I think my "moment" also had to do with bodily fluids...when my BF was so drunk he peed on my bathmats :/

I just gave you the "Over the Top Award" because I think your blog is over the top :). Please come accept it at www.lifeaftercollege3.blogspot.com ~Jill

Predictable said...

Wow; now that's l-o-v-e :)
It seems like the appropriate way to celebrate what could have been a potentially smelly and tense moment is by a candlelit dinner of peanut-butter sandwiches.
Does Jack leave the toilet up? haha

H@ppy Mond@y

オテモヤン said...

オナニー
逆援助
SEX
フェラチオ
ソープ
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出張ホスト
手コキ
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フェラチオ
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性欲