Last weekend I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things. One of those things was toilet paper. I grabbed a 12 pack and headed to the checkout. As I was standing in line, I noticed that it said "6 Rolls" on it. I thought "well that was stupid, there's 12 rolls in here - how did they let this get through production with that big of an error?!" I shook my head in disbelief that a multi-million dollar company could make such a big mistake. Um....yeah, the thing is I actually bought 6 rolls of paper towels and zero rolls of toilet paper. I actually, really, truly thought they had made a mistake. Because obviously that makes a lot more sense than me being an idiot, right? Right.
A couple weeks ago, Jack took me out for a nice dinner at a local Indian restaurant. Within minutes, I managed to spill my glass of wine all over the table. After the server cleaned it up, I went to pour some more---but (surprise!) the cap was on. I'm a genius. Now anytime there is something to be poured he reminds me that I should check the cap. Isn't he helpful?
A few weeks back as Jack and I were leaving a yoga class he says "wow, that car is awesome!" I look over in the general direction he was pointing to and say "the Ion? I didn't know you liked Ions so much." I cannot adequately describe the look with which that was met. Probably 2 cars down was a fancy classic car of some sort.
"Oh...you weren't looking at the Ion were you?" Amazingly, he wasn't.
In my defense, the Ion was really shiny.
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9 comments:
Paper Towels are so good though.
But 12 paper towels is a little much.
Jill is SO awesome! Let's look at what we SHOULD have learned from these stories:
- Jill buys TP. I assume Jack uses TP at, ahem, times. Jill will make sure that you never run out of TP... and, if you do-- she has LOTS of paper towels!
- Jill likes Indian food. Indian food is GOOD! Jill also likes wine. I'm told that drinking loosens inhibitions... I'm just sayin'...
- Jill does yoga. Bendy!
- Jill also can appreciate shiny, normal cars. She's not distracted by fancy, show-off cars. This means she may not leave you for some douche with more money and fancier things. Probably. (Though if those things are shinier...)
Jill is awesome.
QED.
Aw, well. I do at least 6 stupid things a day. I think I've met my quota already today and it's not even noon.
I've told you this once, if not a milliongazillion times. . . . you and me are soul sisters somewhere in this universe.
I am looking forward to the post when you tell us about the time you replied to comments on this blog while signed in as "someone else."
RS27 - You're not supposed to wipe your butt with them, thought.
JENBUN - I like the way you think.
HOLLYWOOD - We should probably never meet in person.
JEN - That is kind of sad for you. ;-)
PETER - Hey! Guess who's an idiot!
-JILL
You and I are twins!!! LOL
Who the hell still drives Ions? That's what we need to know.
I hope rs27 was joking - paper towels are not as good, they swell up and bung up the pipes...
As for knocking drinks over, maybe you should tell us when you FAIL to know over a drink? :-)
Thanks for telling me about this blog!
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