Thursday, February 26, 2009

Getting Our Zen On! (Sort Of)

Hi, it's me, Jill. I'd like to tell you a little story about last night. Sometime last week I asked Jack if he would be up for going to a meditation class with me. I have always wanted to try it but just never done it (that's what she said). Since he is pretty adventurous, he said yes. So last night was meditation date!

A couple things you should know: Jack and I are not very patient people. It hasn't really been a problem in our relationship so far because a) it's not like we're impatient with each other (usually), and b) we're both quite aware of the fact that we could improve ourselves in that regard, so I think we both make something of an effort. His parents are routinely asking me how I manage with his lack of patience, and honestly it hasn't been that bad except when he's behind the wheel of a car. Then WATCH OUT. One time, we were behind a woman in the left turn lane, waiting to turn left onto a one way street. You can turn left onto a one way on a red light, you see. But this poor woman didn't know that. I thought Jack was going to lose it for the 15 seconds we sat there. After the turn, he actually pulled up next to her and had her roll down her window so that he could tell her "you know, you can turn left on a red light there because you're turning onto a one way". Her English seemed limited, and she just said "no, no, no", and drove off. Jack felt like he had performed a public service. I felt like I should duck and hide from embarrassment.

Anyway, because I would like to work on my patience, and because so many people recommend meditation for those of us who are Type A (him) and moderately insane (me), I decided this would be a good thing to check out - for both of us. Jack agreed to go, but afterward, he definitely disagreed on the benefit of meditation in helping him build some patience. "That is the WORST way I could try to improve my patience. I sat there frustrated the whole time. I mean, when he said look at the floor but un-focus your eyes, what did that mean? It's physically impossible."

"Well, I think you missed the point, honey..."

"Point? You think there was a POINT to that nonsense? Was the point to BE DRIVEN INSANE?"

" But I actually meant that I think you missed the point on the not focusing thing. You know how if you focus on something your eyes will start to hurt? Well, they don't want you to do that because it sort of defeats the purpose of relaxing, you know?"

"But how am I supposed to NOT focus my eyes? They're MADE to focus. That's how I can SEE."

At this point, honestly, I was losing my patience with dear Jack. I mean, he just refused to admit that maybe you could look into space and NOT focus, but lots of Buddhist monks everywhere would disagree with him. And I was disagreeing with him because I am disagreeable.

The moral of the story is that Jack won't be going back to the Zen Center any time soon. Instead, I think he'll just continue to enlighten people on traffic laws where ever he goes. Because if he doesn't, WHO WILL?


Anonymous said...

I'll go with you to meditation. Color me intrigued!

pistols at dawn said...

What I like about Jack is that he's also curmudgeonly, like me, but unlike me, he'll actually go and try something. So, upside to you - he doesn't just complain about the same stuff he's been whining about for 10 years. Gotta give him credit for that.

Lil' Woman said...

lol...I'm happy to know Deputy Jack will be out patrolling these streets from bad drivers!! :)

surviving myself said...

You can turn left on rad there? You truly do live in a place of weird and bizarre happenings.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap missy! You can turn left on a RED into a one way street? What state do you live in? Or planet? That's insane. I've never even heard of that. For a while I lived in a city where you couldn't even turn RIGHT on a red so you know, this revelation makes me very excitable. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on so many of these posts, Jill, but I gotta say, I'm completely, utterly and 100% with Jack here. I can unfocus my eyes anytime I want, but why would I? They were made to focus so I can SEE!

Touche, Jack! Touche!

P.S. I love that you've met the parental units! I'm really very happy for you, Miss Jill! Jack seems like a decent soul & you deserve that more than you know.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap - I'm supposed to be signed in as Texaconsin Diva, but I'm not. . . pishhhh. Whatev.

choofy said...

somehow, the zen center seems less fruity after this post. i started to think it was a cult after meeting a weirdo psychiatrist who goes everyday.

i still get nervous making those left turns when cops are around. is it written down somewhere??

Anonymous said...

I thought the rule was you can turn left onto a one way street if you're traveling on a one way...?

Maybe, maybe not. I thought so. Hmmmm.

Sprite said...

Can Jack come and do his road education thing in Sydney? We must have the worst drivers in the developed world here!

Sprite said...

By the way, in Australia, when the filter light comes on to let you turn left (remember we drive on the left side here), the filter light also comes on to let pedestrians cross. It's like a licence to kill! Though I believe there's a vague idea that you shouldn't run the pedestrians down.