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Monday, April 13, 2009

Jack's Advice: Not Exactly a Kodak Moment

Fellas, this one's for you. Maybe you're like me and you enjoy playing practical jokes. And maybe - just maybe - you've thought about playing the following joke on your girlfriend:

Step 1: remove all of the photos of your girlfriend hanging up in your living room

Step 2: refill the now empty picture frames with photos of ex-girlfriends

Step 3: make sure at least one of the photos is of an ex-girlfriend in a string-bikini

Step 4: next time you and your girlfriend are hanging out in the living room, gaze longingly up at the pictures of your exes and say, "man, we had some good times."

Take my advice: your girlfriend's not going to find this "joke" nearly as funny as you do. And you'll probably be in the doghouse* for a day week month or two.
___________
* (Fortunately for me, Jill really loves her dog, so her doghouse is actually pretty nice.)
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Jill's Two Cents: Yes, Jack actually did this, about 3 months into our relationship. No, I'm not kidding, and yes, I wish I were. When I first noticed the change of photos, I rubbed my eyes, sort of like you would if you were in a cartoon and you saw something that couldn't possibly be there because it was so ridiculous (like a man with sensitivity!), you know? Then I got mad, which was made even worse by Jack then saying "What? I did this to my last girlfriend and she thought it was funny."

(deep breath)

(another deep breath)

Luckily, after MUCH coaching, Jack has learned that a) we do not pull practical jokes that involve putting up bikini shots of ex-girlfriends who happen to be tall, blond and thin; and b) we do not say things like "my ex-girlfriend was so much more laid back than you!" or anything that might at all make it sound like your ex-girlfriend could in any way be superior to your current girlfriend.

20 comments:

Assertive Wit said...

hahahahaah silly jack

M.J. said...

Jack, can I ask what possessed you to do this? Was it April Fools Day?

Luvvie said...

Ooooo Jack woulda been one and the same w/ that doghouse for a long time for pulling that. Grrrr....

KindredSmile said...

Wow. Just wow. Not cool, Jack. Not cool.

amindinmotown said...

...He seriously did that? Definitely highly unwise.

Suze said...

Jack - he's such a guy. My husband thought this was hilarious when I told him. Yeah, move over Jack - there's one more coming in the doghouse.

Chief Rock Chef said...

Holly crap! That is virtual suicide!

By way of comparison, about 6 months into my relationship with my wife, she found s tiny crumpled peice of paper wedged in a corner of my wallet - it was the phone number of a girl that I had sort of gone out with for 3 days about a year before. That was very messy!

peterdewolf said...

I gotta admit, historically I've done/said some stuff to GFs just to see how long it would take to charm myself out of trouble.

(Jill, I'm going to now ruin your "And that's why you are single!" reply.)

Lil' Woman said...

If Big Man tried to pull that he wouldnt even get the doghouse..that boy would be homeless. :)

inflammatory writ said...

I don't say this lightly, because my husband can find himself very funny when he's not being funny at all, but I have to say that was a dick move. I'd have been absolutely furious.

Jack and Jill said...

I will say that despite this idiotic move, Jack really is a sensitive, kind person. Which is why it was so outrageously outrageous. Out of character, you know? The worst part is that he genuinely thought I was overreacting at the time. He has since come around, but I appreciate the backup here, ladies!!
-Jill, the most forgiving girlfriend ever

mj said...

That is not a joke. That is mean.

Jen said...

Jack I've got nothing for you. Nothing. I can't even try to fathom up a bit of help for you and I LIKE you. I think you're awesome for Miss Jill, but . . . this is and should remain a big fat no, no, no.

Sprite said...

But look on the bright side, Jill. This can work in your favour. You can go on and on now about how great your ex-boyfriend was (you know, lie if you have to), and Jack can never complain, ever!

Anonymous said...

Jack, I'm usually in your corner, but that one? Not funny - not even a little bit. Sorry.

-ForeverAnon

Kabo said...

That's pretty fantastic. I like all the pre-planning and anxiety that likely went into him waiting for you to see the pictures. Ballsy for such a sensitive guy. :)

abby said...

There were pictures up after three months? Wow, I see now why I got complaints when it took me 2 years. Good to know. I mean, really, how often do people normally redecorate?

choofy said...

hahhahhahahaha!

funny yes, but he should've known the repercussions of bringing up exes would only hurt him.

still, he must be a special guy if there were multiple pictures of you at his place only three months in :)

Devyl Gyrl said...

More proof that Jill is far superior to Jack ;)

Jill said...

LOL i want to do this to my boyfriend now, but we don't live together