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Friday, September 12, 2008

We're Going for Gold!

Jack has a rooftop patio & pool at his condominium complex. A few times this summer, he has invited me to go on late night swims. I know what you're thinking, but please get your mind out of the gutter. Instead of any bow-chicka-bow-bow (you need to sing that - if you didn't please go back and re-read the italicized phrase in a sing-song manner, thanks) action going on, Jack had better ideas. For example, the other night when we went swimming, we decided to race across the pool - both running (hands out of the water to prevent cheating!), and actual swimming. I dominated of course (maybe). Anyway, after watching several weeks of Olympics, Jack then decided we ought to put together a synchronized swimming routine (no, we weren't drunk).

"Okay, I'll choreograph the first 8 beats, and then you do the second 8 beats. Ready?"

"Sure...", I reply, somewhat hesitantly.

But there he was, choreographing some moves and making sure I kept pace and had proper form (according to his expert opinion).

Then it was my turn, and might I say my 8 beats worth of movement were quite challenging (read: ugly). We practiced all 16 beats a few times over, proclaimed that we were ridiculously talented, and then decided we needed a finale, which we then choregraphed together. As Jack suggested ideas, he would say things like, "the judges will be impressed by that move!" and "sometimes simple moves are the most beautiful", and so on and so forth. And as we practiced he ordered me to reduce my splashing because "the judges don't like too much splashing!" When I burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter I was told in a very stern voice: "Look here, I have not been practicing and working my butt off for the last 4 years so that we can blow this!"

What can I say, he is a passionate man, and by golly, if we don't get a gold in 2012, I don't know who will.*
__________________
* Perhaps someone with actual talent?

17 comments:

Jen said...

If only I had a rooftop swimming pool.

***sigh***

Chief Rock Chef said...

Hah, I love the way you two carry on!

Next Olympics, I will be watching...

Dingo said...

I haven't seen co-ed synchronized swimming. Does he have to wear Sear Your Retina Pink Lipstick and From Here To There Fake Eyelashes?

surviving myself said...

I think you two need to get out more.

rs27 said...

Let's pretend this didn't happen.

Jack and Jill said...

JEN - They are super fun!

CHIEF - Thanks! We'll try not to disappoint.

DINGO - Yes, I think he SHOULD have to, don't you? I will bring that up later tonight.

SURVIVING - You mean, like, talk to other people? That sounds scary.

RS27 - Well now you're just being hurtful.

Jason said...

Jack's right - the judges hate splashing! I'm just wondering if Jill was farting in the pool like she was in the elevator. B/c, you know, the judges hate that too.

c.watson said...

Holy crap, this is my first visit and I get synchronized swimming? This is great, next time there should be video footage.

JenBun said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

This is fabulous. Seriously, it made me so ridiculously happy. The only thing that would have made me happier would have been video footage of the actual routine.

Just keep swimmin'! ;)

Anonymous said...

You guys are too happy. This is ridiculous. :)

Adorably Bitter said...

Hm, now all you have to do for the next 4 years is to lobby for the "most hilarious" category to the olympic judging... And you better start trying your hand at make-up as well - those synchronised swimmers are heavy-weight in make up.

sid said...

LOL! Gosh I hope I end up meeting a guy who is as much fun as Jack.

Jack and Jill said...

JASON - There was no farting! And if there had been, it was definitely the dog, not me.

CWATSON - We really should have our own show...

JENBUN - Glad to make you happy!

ANON - :-)

ADORABLY - There really SHOULD be a category for funny, good call.

SID - He is pretty fun, it's true.

not lisa said...

Just found you guys and I'm pleased as punch that I did. Oddly enough, my boyfriend and I had an almost identical pool night where I ended up with a hard-to-explain scratch on my forehead from a particularly complex synchronized swimming maneuver.

The only difference between your night and ours? About three bottles of wine. Whoops.

Happy Herbivore! said...

Jill's flotation devise is way cooler than Jacks.

Peter said...

I probably would have pushed a "You know, the judges really don't like bathing suits either" agenda.

I'm like that.

Luvvie (aka Queen IG) said...

LOL at the synchronized swilling. you oughta get some of these events on tape.