Friday, September 26, 2008

Time to Take Out the Trash

Jack keeps a little box in his hall closet where all my jewelry and hair pins go if I leave them unattended in his house for longer than 3 minutes. The first time I got a look at this little box I noticed that several - SEVERAL - of the items in it did not belong to me. Lip gloss, bobby pins, earrings....all not mine!

"Um...who does all this stuff belong to?"


"Why are you keeping it if you don't know who owns it?"

"Well, because what if they come back for it?"

"How long has this stuff been in here?"

"I don't know. But you never know when someone might realize that they're missing an earring and call me up and ask for it."

"I think we should throw this stuff."

"What?!?! We can't do that! What if someone asks me for it?!"

(blank stare) "Yes, we should toss it. I think only my stuff should be in this box. If the other girls wanted their stuff, they would have called you by now, don't you think?"

We had to have this conversation several times before this stuff was actually thrown out, and even then it was only because I got pretty tipsy and picked all the non-Jill stuff out and threw it in the trash. It was fun, let me tell you. I flicked each and every hair pin into that trash bin (flick, flick, flick!) with pure glee and now I know that everything in there belongs to me, me, me! It is a lovely feeling.

Anyway, really, I know times are tough and all, but after 3 months what kind of girl is going to call him up and say "hey, I think I left a 1 cent bobby pin at your house, have you come across it?" An idiot kind of girl, that's who, and who wants to see that kind of girl again anyway?

Jack’s two cents: The problem is that I really can’t tell the difference between $4 earrings and precious jewels. Maybe that gold earring with the seven intertwined silver hoops and the “MADE IN CHINA” stamp was a family heirloom dating back to the Egyptian pyramids? Or maybe that blackberry lip gloss had some sentimental value? Maybe the girl’s grandmother used to bake her blackberry muffins and this $2.99 artifact provided her with priceless memories? What kind of cold, ruthless soul would simply toss those items out like a used Q-tip?
PS. If you are a lady who might have left some really dark lip gloss at Jack's, sorry, but I tossed it. It's kind of like finder's keepers except in this case it was finder's throwers.

PPS. I would like to note that I gave Jack over a month to put the non-Jill items in a different box so that it didn't mix with my $4 earrings precious jewels, but he never did that, so....


JenBun said...

Jill, you are totally in the right.

Jack, why would you want ANY reminder of any other girl, ever?


CC said...

I'm with Jill on this one!

Jason said...

What kind of people leave their shit lying around someone else's place anyway? They don't deserve to have it returned.

Jack and Jill said...

Thank you, thank you, and thank you!

Told you so, Jack!!

Dingo said...

Jack, I so backed you up on the fourth grade hand in the face trick, dude. But this time, you are on your own. If Jill hadn't thrown the stuff out, I would've come over and done it for her.

Luvvie (aka Queen IG) said...

I'm with my girl, Jill. $2.99 lipgloss and bobby pins are not heirlooms. If they are, then you are a bit over sentimental. BUCK UP!!

Jen said...

I feel like I'm always against Jack here and that doesn't feel right, so I'll try from both points of view:

I've never found myself in a situation such as this. I can completely understand Jill and, Jack, these belongings BELONGED to OTHER WOMEN. Uh. Duh. And D'oh.

But then again, Jill, this shows you what a "thoughtful" and "considerate" man you have found.

That's all I've got.

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Jack wears vests?

Also, Jill needs to calm down. It's a box of crap. Crap belonging to forgetful women. Please. Do you really think you have to worry about them coming back and wooing Jack? It's doubtful they can even remember where he lives, much less who he is (sorry, Jack). Seriously.

And stop going through his closets. Geez, what is your deal?!?

Jack and Jill said...

SIR - you are the only one who disagrees here! I win!

Chief Rock Chef said...

I think that this just shows that Jack is basically a really nice guy! Well done Jack! I mean, it is not like they were a box of momentoes hidden under the bed!

But this does make me wonder - is Jill getting serious? Eh?

KindredSmile said...

What kind of person leaves all of their stuff laying around someone else's house anyway? That stuff shoulda been tossed immediately. Case. Closed!

surviving myself said...

I'm with Jack. Because we both care about people.

Hollywood Sucker said...

Did you come across a weathered looking tube of Dr. Pepper lipsmackers? I lost mine.

anne said...

How organized of Jack to have a designated container!


sid said...

Jack's holding on to the jewelry of other women that he has slept with? That's just not on.

Peter said...

See, I totally understand Jack's side of this. It is just being nice. Respecting other people's belongings.

On the other hand, I would have started a "Jill" box JUST for you.

But, really, only to shut your piehole.

Courtney said...

Hahaha you guys are so funny! But I'm going to have to agree with Jill here. I made my boyfriend throw out various leftover reminder items from previous girls, but only after we'd been dating for almost six months. No need for those kinds of things to still be lying around. (And if there was a need, then I was needing a new boyfriend! Thankfully that was not the case.)

Ali said...


Nice job Jill.

And you are much nicer than me - there is no way I would have waited a DAY much less a month to chuck those 35 bobby pins out.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Bravo Jill!!!! If it's been more then a week, we are not comiing back for it. Trust.

KE said...

I'm so glad this issue is now resolved considering I was part of one of those conversations about whether to throw out the stuff in the box.